Defining a "New Normal"

We have support group meetings called Strong Mind, Strong Body, Strong Spirit Wellness Classes twice a month. At our most recent class in Tulsa, one of our participants commented on people always talking about a "new normal" and how nothing was normal about a brain tumor. And, you know he is absolutely right. Nothing is normal about a brain tumor. But it lead me to ask the question, "What is normal?".

I believe we define normal to be "activities or perceptions that could or would occur in our daily activities or lives". Interruptions to these expected daily happenings or activities is not considered to be normal.

So the brain tumor diagnosis comes along and life is turned upside down. What we new to be our normal daily activities and life is now a thing of the past. Our new reality is the brain tumor diganosis and all the crap that goes along with that. Unfortunately, this is our "new normal". Why is this our "new normal"? Because this is what becomes regular daily activities, perceptions, and thought processes.

The fact is that life changes in good ways and in bad ways after the diagnosis of a brain tumor hits your family. You will never be same again, NEVER. How can you go back to being the same person you were before when you have personaly witnessed and endured such a thing.

Defining a "new normal" is simply understanding and accepting that you cannot go back, but you can go forward. This doesnt' mean accepting your diagnosis, it means accepting that your life, wisdom, thoughts, emotions, spirituality and outlook on life has changed. This is your "new normal. You may have to define a "new normal" for your self several times over again. I know there have been days, weeks and months that my new normal changed over and over again.

Defining a new normal is simply saying I am going to take what life has handed me today and make the best out of it that I possibly can. I'm not going to look back and concentrate on what I have lost or how things have changed, but I am going to look forward and count my blessings, each and every one of them regardless of small and insignificant they may seem to others.

I would like to recommend a personal actvitity that I like to do with my patients sometimes. Take a piece of paper and list everything bad that has happened due to the brain tumor (that's easy). The hard part is listing the good things that have happened and there are some. For instance, you met someone and was able to develop a lasting friendship, you were able to lead an unbeliever to Christ, you reconnected with a family member or a troubled relationship, you got back in church, you rededicated your life, someone introduced you to the love of Christ and you were saved, you are working less and living life more, you concentrate on the most important parts of your life now God and family. Now what are each of these things worth to you? If you could assign a value to the good things that have happened what would it be? Are they things that you would be willing to give up for you not to have to deal with the brain tumor? Sometimes they are, sometimes they are not. Sometimes you will find the value of the blessings far outweighs the cost of the brain tumor. Somethin to think about....give me your thoughts.